Azita Mujica – Etiquette Class

After each meal, it is a basic and cardinal rule to leave your utensils side by side to signal to the server that you are finished eating and that the plate could be taken.

The best way is to leave your fork and knife together, side by side where would have been four o’clock if you think of your plate as a clock face. In more formal dinners and generally in Europe they are also left at six o’clock position.

If soup or dessert is served in a deep bowl, cup on another plate, place your spoon on this underplate when you finish. If the bowl is a soup plate, ( wide and shallow) leave the spoon in the bowl.
When you pause to take a sip of your beverage or to speak with your meal companion(s), place your knife and fork on your plate near the center, inverted V and the tips of the knife and fork pointing toward each other. You may also rest your knife slightly diagonal on the top right rim of your plate with your fork laid nearby. That signals the trained waitstaff that you are not ready to have your plate removed.

Junk mail, forwards and commercial spam can be ignored but, your respond to a real message is obliged. Whether it is an invitation, meeting notice or just a hello from a friend. How fast should you respond? Within one to two days for personal messages and within twenty four hours for business e-mails, depending on it’s urgency. Instead of including all entire message that you have received, leave just enough to make it obvious what you are responding. If you are going to be away from your computer or smart phone, use a “out of office” or “vacation” feature which let the sender now that you are away until a certain date. Once back, respond promptly.

ONLY if the door is heavy, a man enters FIRST, while pushing it open and holding it for HER to enter behind him. He may enter a revolving door FIRST to get it started, but lets HER first if it is already moving.
It is simply basic good manner for a man to open a closed door for a woman. That includes car doors…before he jumps in ready to go, even if he is a passenger..
When the door of an elevator opens, women enter before men and exit before them. Except if the elevator is full of people in which case the closest person to the open door exits first. He may also push the buttons to indicate floors. Brief, he should ALWAYS let her go through an open door ahead of him.
Younger men can be assured the despite today’s equality between men and women socially, this is the right way to do and if a woman does not approve, she is just unaware of the rules of social etiquettes.
WOMEN TOO need to hold doors when someone is holding a lot of packages, pushing stroller or in a wheelchair.
However when in Japan do as Japanese do….. Women maybe expected to let men go first…

Last but not least, holding the door for someone behind you, of any gender, is simply basic manners.

Pay attention during the introduction. Take a few seconds to simply rehearse and repeat the name of the new person you meet. Make a mental note. Maybe rhyming it , such as Ruth has an attitude ….or Maureen is a queen…

Today, texting is one of the most impolite actions that youngsters do while with people. Please leave it for when you are alone ONLY.

It’s respectful to focus on the event. Whether  with others, in conversation, at the table , attending a performance or listening to a priest.

Give sincere compliments. You can say the nice things that you are thinking about your friends. The rule is to be truthful.

People enjoy hearing certain good traits about themselves. Start with”I” to praise an action. “I like how you sing, dance , talk, paint, dress ” and so on.

Let’s not mistake this with gushing and untrue statements of flattery which we CERTAINLY should avoid.

Additional Information on Etiquette by the following Authors: Peggy Post, Charlotte Ford, Elizabeth James, Carol Barkin, Sheryl Eberly, Pamela Espeland, Elizabeth Verdick